Move Along

I have come to the conclusion that the song of the summer is definitely and officially Move Along by All-American Rejects.

Now you know.

The Wrong Heaven

This may be exactly what I just said turned a different way. If it is...you know what... I don't care if it is.

I think that sometimes the root of any unhappiness in my life is that I have set my heart on the wrong Heaven. Instead of really living everyday with Heaven as my greatest hope; the thing that I'm working to bring about even subconsciously all the time, I substitute other things.

There are any number of quick fixes, that might be very good in and of themselves, but they aren't heaven. I firmly believe that the human heart is an idol factory if only because I know that mine is. The worst part is when I actually get those things and they are so hollow, and I find that the hope of having them was much better then the actual thing. Instead of the hapiness I thought they would bring, I only get dissapointment and frustration. I should know this by now.

But I don't.

If only my greatest hope was to see the face of Jesus with none of my sin clouding my eyes, I would never be dissapointed again. I would be looking for heaven where it is, and not hoping for it here in empty things. I could find my current joy in the pursuit...there is a lot of joy in unrealized hope when you know it will be fulfilled.

Anyways, I should go to sleep before I twist my and everybody else's brain out of shape.

Life is What You Make of It

I'm really writing this for my own benefit, so it may be that no one else will be interested in this introspection.

That said, I have been thinking lately that I need to become a person who is pretty much obsessed with reality. I am sick and tired of watching friends (probably not any of you reading this) give into their own perceptions of what's happening, or focusing on simply one aspect of life and slowly losing touch of what is real and falling into a world of their own making while the rest of reality slips by them and they become victims of their own delusions. I am even more sick of seeing that start to happen to me every day.

We all basically have two choices. The first is to look at certain aspects of our lives; difficult providences, our own failings, etc.; and make them all that we see, and all that we craft our lives around. This can seem very justified. It does seem very dark when a major league picher hurts himself and is never able to pitch again. It would be understandable for him to think that he has lost his very identity and reason for living, and to spend the rest of his life in dramatic "struggling to carry on."

But the thing is that the reality of life for a Christian is that their salvation is always secure, and Christ is always their helper. Even the hard things that happen are from his hand. Hard providences may be hard, but they are still providence, and if we really believe that God is loving, then we have no choice but to view them in a very different light. The major league picher is faced with the choice of carrying on in light of the tragedy that the world sees, or of simply acting as if the facts of God's goodness and soveregnty are real enough to be operationalized in his life. If he really believes them, then he will chose to set aside the "tragedy" and keep on Coram Deo, seeking after the next thing that God would have him do with his life-- at the very least seeking to be who God has asked him to be, without self-pity.

I think that our dramatizing our lives is not only self centered, but is rooted in the accusation that God is not good. If we could really see the ultimate reality of what God has done for all of us compared to what we deserve, we would be scared to death at the thought of making that accusation.

And really, carrying on well is not making the most of a bad situation, it's just making reality of the situation. There is no great merit (drama) in that either. Luke 17:10 says "So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants, we have only done what was our duty.'" I Cor 10:13 says "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. " See, dramaless obedience is what is called for, rather then spending all of our lives explaining to others our excuses for not doing and being what and who we should. Life is too short for not doing what we should do for reasons that only we truly appreciate. We need to suck it up and hold onto reality for all that we're worth so that we don't look back someday and see wasted years that will break our hearts.

It's still happening...

www.worldvision.org/about_us.nsf/child/eNews_uganda_20060718?Open&campaign=1265399&cmp=EMC-1265399

Oven Thunder

My cooking was once referred to as "Oven Thunder"

Annie tried to make me feel better today after she literally had to run spit out the first bite she took of some broccoli I made by saying "At least I didn't throw up!!"

Actually, he just misheard the name of the Andrew Peterson CD "Love and Thunder" and thought I was talking about my cooking.

Annie's sagacity

"I've been acting really stupid in public lately.
I've been doing it so much that lately I'm forgetting that I'm actually really smart.
I should be encouraged to intelligence.
I think this should be a matter of deliberation."

Denial is not a river in Egypt

Why didn't any of y'all tell me that I was an addict.

I had no idea untill today when I was trying to figure out why I wasn't getting anything done, and I decided that it was because I was so busy managing my music that nothing else was happening. Also, all of the music that I listen to makes me frustrated for some reason.

So I decided to try to move furniture in my room without any music. It was terrible. I couldn't go any time at all without thinking about turning music on. As soon as I had put the thought out of my head it came back again. It was so bad that after half an hour I had to put on the Tarzan soundtrack, but that doesn't count because it's mostly instrumental...well, partly instrumental.

Maybe I should have realized this when it was worth three trips up and down six flights of stairs at school from the computer lab to my room to retrieve my cd player, batteries, AND a cd (that can also be blamed on my absent mindedness but whatever) so that I could listen to music while I checked my email. Or when I had to drive with my hand on the radio button because that was the only way it worked. Or when I broke four cd players in one year (you mean they're not supposed to be disposable ?).

So the only thing that I'm actually commiting to is to cut back and see what happens. Hopefully I'll be less frustrated and have more time!!!